As common as it may seem nowadays, divorce never really gets easier for any couple going through it. While some divorces can be met with a mutual agreement, more often than not, one person in the relationship feels a stronger pull to back out than another, and that can lead to unresolved feelings and emotions, and even depression. Even if you happened to be the one to file for a divorce, or know you wanted out of the relationship, it’s never an easy situation to go through.
But, aside from the fact that you’re certainly not alone in your feelings and emotions, you can also take comfort in knowing there is help in dealing with divorce. Of course, speaking with a counselor or therapist about your thoughts and feelings can really help when it comes to having a neutral person to talk to, who has the knowledge and resources to help guide you through those feelings.
There are also several things within yourself, and your life that you can take the time to recognize and try when it comes to dealing with divorce. Some of these small life ‘tips’ include:
1. Coping With Regrets – There are times when we all wish we could have done something differently, and relationships are certainly not immune to that. Instead of criticizing yourself for mistakes made in the past, try to turn your perspective toward the future, and use those regrets as life lessons to move ahead.
2. Take Care Of Yourself – When we find ourselves in a different state of mind, or even slightly depressed, we can lose the desire to actually take care of ourselves, but it’s more important than ever that you take the time to do so. It sounds simple enough, but some women really struggle with remembering proper self care. This includes everything from getting enough sleep, to eating healthy, exercising, and finding time to relax.
3. Have Support – Having a solid support system can actually be another form of self-care. It’s important to surround yourself with people who will boost you up and let you know you’re not alone. Whether that happens to be family, friends, or a divorce support group, having that system to hold you up can really make a difference.
4. Stay Away From Destruction – It’s easy to fall into destructive habits when we are at a lower point in our lives. Drinking, gambling, frivolous relationships, binge eating, or not eating enough are just a few common ways people essentially start to ‘destroy’ themselves. If you feel the urge to try any of these things, or already find yourself struggling with certain behaviors, it’s important to reach out to that support system, or to find guidance from a counselor, and discover healthier ways of coping.
Divorce is never easy, but it doesn’t have to be something you do alone, or without the right resources and knowledge to keep you informed, healthy, and ready to eventually move forward with your life.
Alice Shepard, Ph.D. of Mirielle Therapy Practice specializes in Women and Relationships Therapy NYC, helping early and mid-career stage women who are looking to make important changes in their lives. Issues that are at the core of ones’ identity can be so painful when they are not going well. Concerns about dating, love, friendships, work, family, loss, or health can generate intense feelings of sadness, worry, insecurity, and stress.